"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
She speaks with kindness to her children, her husband, her servants. She does not speak idle words or words that will hurt someone for their thoughtlessness. When she speaks, it is not based on her emotions at the moment; she is careful with her words because she knows that words carry weigh and cannot be taken lightly. She considers her words and speaks with wisdom.
It is important as mothers to choose our words wisely. Our children will follow our lead and do as they see us doing. If we are short with our children, they will be short with each other. If we are bossy instead of speaking kindly and firmly, then they will be bossy too. If we yell or shout, they will yell and shout too. This is not to say that we don’t need to have authority over our children and there some differences in what we can and should say and what they as children are allowed to say. I am talking here about our attitudes as we speak.
As I was reading and preparing for this devotional, the Lord lead me to Psalm 145:8 which says; “The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.” I did word searches and found that to be gracious means to bend or stoop in kindness to an inferior. In our homes, our children are under our authority, inferior in position to us. We need to be willing to bend with kindness towards them. Not to suspend discipline if and when it is needed, but if they want to talk to us or have need that we can meet, we need to take the time to do that. We get busy with chores or talking on the phone or working on the computer and we get frustrated when we get interrupted by our children, then they act up and we discipline them for being naughty. If we would have taken the time to listen to them, we could have answered them, either yes or no, and could have avoided making them frustrated too. It will take a little extra discipline on our parts, but if that is what we are trying to teach our children, shouldn’t we be exhibiting it ourselves? A note of clarification, there will be times when the children have to wait for mommy’s attention. And that is more training you will have to do. But you need to be careful not to use this as an excuse to keep doing what you want to do.
It is also worth noting that the word used for great there in Ps. 145, refers to being older or wiser. We are the ones who have the experience which we can draw on. They do not. They are counting on us to do what is right so they can learn from our wisdom. Let’s take the time to pass that wisdom on. Our children learn from us how to deal with tough situations, and if all we show them is anger or yelling or sarcasm, we are not training them properly. They can do all that on their own. We are born angry and selfish; we have to train that out of them.
So how are we to do this? The answer is we need to evaluate what things make us angry. Do we get most angry when we are on the phone? On the computer? In the grocery store? Once you know when you are most likely to get frustrated with your children, then you can develop a way to deal with it. For some, just knowing that that will make them angry is enough. They will be on their guard for what could set them off. For some, it will be to memorize a scripture that speaks about speaking kindly, like Proverbs 31:26 or Psalm 145:8. For some, it means taking a moment to stop yourself and just wait to respond. The key is to find a way that you can control your reactions before your emotions get the better of you.
Most importantly of all, be in prayer. God will help you do what He has asked you to. And He will show you the way too.