"to love their husbands"
While English uses 4 words here, the Greek uses just one, "philandros". It's roots are the words, philos,meaning a friend, a companion, someone who wishes one well, or loving as a friend, and aner, meaning a husband. So literally Paul is saying that we need to be a friend or a well-wisher to our husbands. At first glance, it seems silly to have to tell a wife that she should be a friend and well-wisher to her own husband. After all, if our futures are dependent on each other, who wouldn't wish their spouse well? But if you look at all the troubles present in today's marriages and the vast amount of "me" time we are encouraged to engage in, do we really take the time to wish our husbands well? To be his companion and friend? Do we look for ways to encourage them or support them as we would a friend? Think of some of the things you would do for your best friend: call them just to say hi? Send them a note of encouragement? Make them a special meal when they are feeling down? Take them out for coffee just because? Would we and more importantly, do we do the same for our husbands?
I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about. Since my husband and I have been married (over 3 years now), we have had children for all but 9 months of that. Dinners have almost always been spent with babies or toddlers or both and there is rarely (read: never) time for us to just enjoy eating together without near constant interruptions in our own home. One evening about a month ago, my husband came home to one of his favorite meals and both the girls were asleep. So I quickly set the table for two, complete with a candle and we sat down to a quiet, uninterrupted meal, just the two of us. I didn't plan it that way; it probably wouldn't have worked if I had tried but we enjoyed it none the less. It was a chance for me to enjoy the companionship of my husband.
My point in telling you this is simply that we need to look for ways to care for our husbands as we would a very dear friend. You don't stay best friends with someone by making a pact and then not talking for years. You have to communicate, show interest and excitement about spending time with that person. You have to long for those times you get to spend with them and you have to make the time to spend with them. Friendships don't just happen. They may start unexpectedly but if they are to continue, it takes work and a will to keep it going. If we are willing to do this for just a friend, how much more should be take the time to make it work in our marriages?
Serve and love him as you would the Lord himself. Treat him as you would want to be treated. Ask the Lord to show you how to be his biggest cheerleader and well-wisher. And see what a blessing it is to love him as Titus 2 says.
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